Friday, March 2, 2012

Yeah, that's right, I got beat up by a two year old

Devony broke me! I knew better than to turn my head when holding a brick headed two year old, who had eaten enough sugar to put a horse on a high for a month, but I messed up. Here I was trying to be one of those there good mama's cuddling my little angel baby when she went into attack mode, the way two year old do. She flung herself back in a way to make any gymnastic champion proud and BAM I saw stars, literally.

As tears streamed down my face and I jumped up to grab an ice pack Devony sat on the floor looking so sad. WTH! I was the one hurt and now I felt guilty. She spoke quietly in her cute, squeaky voice saying, Mommy hurt? You otay? I assured her I was in fact otay, when in fact I was biting back another yelp of pain, swearing my face was broken.

So of course I have to call my friend to see if you can in fact have the bone under your eye broken and she assures me it would take more than Devony smacking me with her head, I think she under estimates the thickness of my children's skulls.

To add insult to injury (Again literally) Every time I blink or smile it hurts so bad I wanna cry again and if I say it hurts Devony again says you otay? Again I assure her I am. Does this count as lying? So I leave to go to Walmart with my husband, wearing gym pants with a formula stain on them (If you see me on people of walmart please let me know) and I notice people looking at my face and then at my husband, yeah I know what they are thinking. This big guy with a five inch long goatee just sucker punched me and now took me to Wally World to buy me one of those $5 DVD's to make it up to me. Maybe I should have listened to my friend when she said she'd stay in the house til it was gone if it was her.

I wish I could say this was the first child induced injury to me in my house, but alas it is not. I need bubble wrap size 8 stat!!!! Oh well at least I only have to go through the terrible twos one....wait maybe two more times.