Sunday, October 30, 2011

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

My name is Stephanie and I have a problem!

I am seriously addicted to the Salvation Army and garage sales. I am the person who buys the odd ball things just because they are old and cool. The vintage Las Vegas beer mug salt and pepper shakers, I got 'em. I am the person in the corners hunting for the weirdest pictures I can find or scouring through their glass and kitchen ware looking for something that catches my eye. I have found some pretty awesome books there. First addition Diary Of A Mad Housewife, a really old copy of Huckleberry Finn, all found on a trip to the SA.

Take my advise though if you start treasure hunting through second hand stores and garage sales for treasures, you'll become addicted to. You'll be the one flipping over serving spoons, squinting to see if there's a maker mark, or flipping through the pictures, looking for just one that has to be worth millions. You just know deep down one day you'll hit the jackpot and guess what it could happen! A man once paid a few dollars for what he thought was a reprint of the Declaration Of Independence, but it was real! For God's sake a copy could be sitting in one of my local thrift stores just waiting for me to happen upon it or possibly an Van Gogh. Can you imagine if I don't check once a week and someone else buys my retirement fund!

Now, don't get me wrong. You're not going to see me on hoarders anytime soon. I usually only buy a thing or two or nothing at all. What I do buy is pretty sweet though, and I love having around as conversation pieces. Here's a few examples of the things I have bought:

1. Salt and pepper shakers that grace my window sills in the kitchen. The coolest are my Beer Stein, Las Vegas vintage salt and pepper shakers. I have no intention of using these, they are strictly fun to look at. I pain 50 cents and they are worth $10 so not too bad.

2. A metal globe piggy bank with the worlds airports from the 40's. I saw one for sale online for $100. At the same garage sale I bought a vintage Disney clock that plays songs. I seen it online for over $300. Ours is missing a tiny little dial. What's did I pay you may ask, a quarter for the bank, seventy five cents for the clock!

3. Today we bought a Disney tin serving plate and a California tin plate, both are worth about $10 we paid 75 cents.

So as you can see we aren't getting rich...just yet. The day is coming when the clouds will open and a golden ray will shine down on my Monet. Remember what I said though, avoid the treasure hunt or you may be like me and by the way the Salvation Army has sale days so you can find your treasures cheaper.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Now that's just gross!

Talking to my friend this morning I am reminded of some of the gross stuff that has happened in my house. Keep in mind while reading this that these incidents are spanned out over 13 years and seven kids! If you have a weak stomach stop reading now.

The great puke slip and slide:
This is one of the grossest things that has ever happened to me. My daughter was about six at the time and had a bad stomach bug. She went running for the bathroom, but didn't quite make it and vomited on the floor. She was crying so I went running to help her. I didn't see the puke and went sliding across the hallway floor into the bathroom. Needless to say she stopped crying and was laughing at me. Yeah, real funny. That's what I get for trying to be super mommy and save the day!

Poop is not paint:
My daughter (Notice a pattern her the girls did most of the gross stuff) was about a year and a half old when this infamous event occurred. I was going up the stairs to get her out of her crib when I smelled something. I knew before I got into her room something very nasty had happened. There she stood in her crib, happy as can be, covered head to toe in poop. It was in her hair, her teeth, between her toes, and under her nails. My husband carried her down the stairs at arms length telling her how nasty she was.
I surveyed her room. Everything within her reach from the crib had a nice coating of crap on it. She even managed to get the curtains. Her artistic ability showed even then. It took me over two hours to wash away all the poop. It was even rubbed up and down every crib rail. I wish I could say this was my only experience with poop painting, it's not.

Hey, that's not a....
Yes, bodily fluids. They are all nasty and yet we find humor in others misfortune with them. Why though, does the misfortune always have to happen to me? I won't mention which children did the following, nor will I go into detail. I'll just put my immediate responses to the situations.

Cat water bowls are not a toilet!!
Stop, don't poop on the floor, big girls use the potty.
Don't ever and I mean ever pee in the toy box again!
Don't wipe that on your sister!
Are you F**king serious right now?
Eww, put the toilet paper back in the toilet, now you need a bath!

Yeah, that's not chocolate!:
This is the story that led to this post. Devony had a bunch of hard poop balls in her diaper. I wasn't paying attention when I was changing her and she must have snatch one. Next thing I know she's putting something in her mouth, spits and yells Poooooop, Poooooop! I admit I laughed at that one.

I hope you all got a laugh out of the sampling of nastiness that I have had to deal with over the years. There are many a days when I sit back and say might as well get a puppy!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Paint, paint, everywhere...

So we were redoing the girls bedroom and turning another room into a playroom. So my husband leaves the bright green paint on top of the bunk beds while we go to eat dinner, BIG MISTAKE! So here we are sitting at the table eating dinner. All of us, but one...Nellie. She's not a big fan of turkey and wouldn't even sit at the table with us while we ate it. It never crossed my mind to ask Dave about the paint. I was too caught up in gravy covered goodness. That was my first mistake.

So here I am just about done eating when I get up to check on Devony who had finished eating and went off to play. Where do I find her? That's right in the playroom covered in bright green paint. She's have looked pretty sweet under a black light.

I didn't really look around the room, second mistake. I instead hurried Devony off to the bathroom and started the tub. I finally got back into the playroom and there it was, green paint on everything. She'd taken the roller and put one line down each piece of wall she could see, the closet door, inside a dresser drawer, and even the fish tank. This room as suppose to stay white. Maybe Nellie has better decorating sense and thought her way looked better? I'm not sure about that though, who ever heard of a neon green window?

If you are looking for me over the next few days, I'm probably still scraping up painting, cursing out Dave!

Large familly quotes

The family.  We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.  ~Erma Bombeck

There is no cure for laziness but a large family helps.  ~Herbert Prochnov

Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold. - Andre Maurois

A friend loves you for your intelligence, a mistress for your charm, but your family's love is unreasoning; you were born into it and are of its flesh and blood. Nevertheless it can irritate you more than any group of people in the world. - William Hazlitt

Friday, October 21, 2011


Storage Wars, our families newest favorite show, followed closely by Criminal Minds. That's right I let my kids watch Criminal Minds. Storage Wars is for some strange reason a highly addictive show, that makes people want to run out and start attending auctions to see if they can find a piece of treasure hidden away behind a padlock.

I have always been a huge history buff and love antiques so of course this show appealed to me, but why do my kids like it? Is it Barry Weiss and his crazy antics or perhaps they want to see the cool finds. No, it's the YUUUUUP. It has to be the YUUUUUP. I know this because lately it's all I hear an not only from the kids. This has become an acceptable way to answer questions. Honey do you want more soup, YUUUUUUP. Nellie do you go to go potty, YUUUUUUP. Sometimes I am so thankful to constantly hear my two year old say no!

I have to admit I am getting sucked into the YUUUUUUP. I found myself just this morning sending my friend a sound clip to her phone saying YUUUUP. Then I get on line and see her message to me that simply said YUUUUP, so I responded...that's a good dollar bill there. Which is another one of my husbands new favorite sayings. Driving down the street he'll point and a broken dresser on the side of the road and say, that's a good twenty dollar bill there. UGH! It's a never ending cycle.

If this continues on in my house you may find me in the kitchen saying, who wants carrots, I got carrots ere, I got carrots can I get green beans....... HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

It's all fun and game until...

It's all fun and games until... This is a sentence that can be finished in so many ways. I thought I'd share a few today.

1.) It's all fun and games until someone falls out of a tree.

This is what happens when a certain 9 year old decided mom was wrong to tell her not to climb the trees out front. She goes down the street climbs and falls fifteen feet out of it. Luckily she walked away with just a twisted ankle and the realization that sometimes mom is right.

2.) It's all fun and games until someone gets staples in their head.

This is what happens when children decide using an old metal paint can is an acceptable step stool while balancing on a chair, over the top of a tall box. Two stitches later they realize that yes mom is right once more.

3.) It's all fun and games until the rat gets eaten.

Oh, the sad lesson that was learned with this one. When a hamster cage is not securely closed the cats will eat it and after a three days search the cats will leave said rat at the foot of mom and dad's bed as a gift. Needless to say our latest hamster is alive and well because of this lesson.

4.) It's all fun and games until steam comes out of moms ears.

This is the result of a day when no one wants to listen! They do everything except what mom asks and are generally just LOUD! The lesson is mom's head steams, kids go to bed early.

5.) It's all fun and games until someone breaks a toe.

This happens when a mother is chasing a toddler and somehow manages to run into a doorway resulting in a toe broke in half. Not just fractured, literally broke in half. Lesson learned: Mom is clumsy which is why the children probably have so many accidents.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

So you're a little short and your ears are too big...

Today was the day for Leanna to go back to the doctor to take care of a few issues. One was her height (or lack there of). At the age of ten she is way shorter than her classmates, her sister is two years younger and two inches taller. You know it stunk for her when we went to the fair and they wouldn't let her on rides her little sister could go on!

I feel so bad when she comes home to tell me she's been teased about her height. I always remind her the benefits of being short. Yes, there are some. She's make a great jet pilot, or horse jockey. Apparently these choices of jobs are not her cup of tea. She said I want to be a vet and help animals. What if I can't reach them on the table. I thought fast and said you can get a stool.

So as we sat in the doctors office I debated bringing this up to the doctor again. When the nurse said she was only in one percentile height I figured I better bring it up. Thankfully she grew and inch in a half in the last six months s the doctor wasn't too concerned. That tells you how tiny she is when she grew that much and is still so low on the charts.

So she goes on and tells the doctor her ear hurts where she just got hem pierced. Apparently me telling her they were not swollen she just has big ears didn't cut it. I was right, big ears.  strive to tell my kids the good things about them and they like me are able to make jokes about other things. So as we were driving home and she asked me if she was going to be short forever I said: Look Leannna, your short and you have big ears, but your perfect and just the way you are suppose to be.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Just a pic to make you say awwwwww

Rent A Centers harassing practices!!!!

A long time ago we rented a dryer from Rent A Center. It was convenient because at the time we didn't have enough to go buy one. We will end up paying a lot more than the dryer was worth, but only owe like a hundred and something dollars left. Anyway payment came due Saturday, we are on Monday. My husband works nights and worked all weekend. The ad on pink eye and some belly issues in the house and we haven't gotten there yet. We were heading out this evening and planned to stop there while we were in the area. The store is a good distance from the house.

Now remember two days past payment date. I have gotten not kidding 6-8 calls a day from two different numbers, then I find out they called my husbands aunt! This isn't thousands of dollars we're talking about. The weekly payments are under thirty dollars.

I have been doing some research and see a ton of people complaining about Rent A Centers harassing practices. Seriously these guys put real debt collectors to shame. My tenants once fell behind on their payments and Rent A Center came into the building I own without asking. Went into a shared basement and took their washer. I understand repossession, but this is not my tenants property, it's mine and I don't like people coming into the building without permission!

I did buy a washer from Rent a Center a few years back, completely paid it off and never had an issue with them. I will NEVER do business with this company again. I'll use a credit card, or save in cash rather than be treated like a dead beat for being two days late. If I didn't have the darn thing almost paid off I'd tell them to come get it and be done with them.

I do understand a contract was signed and they expect payment on time. The fact we are two days late and they are being so harassing is what bothers me. Add to that the fact we are long time costumers and have a history of purchasing item from them at outrageously inflated prices. Does the amount of money and time constitute that many phone calls and calling other people, really?

They are not going to like me when I hit that store! And if we are such terrible costumers that you have to harass us like that why do they always send us letters and emails to buy more from them? This is just another reminder of what was lost with the mom and pop shops!

Ever have one of those mornings?

Today was one of those days I knew was going to be all messed up from the moment I woke up. I didn't remember the house being that big a mess when I went to bed, which means either kids got up in the middle of the night or the older kids did it before school. There is a slight possibility it did look this way when  went to bed and just looked worse in the light of the day. No matter what was the cause I spend the first hour after waking up cleaning it up.

Devony woke up just after I got everyone n the bus. She grabbed her favorite toy, the paper Jamz guitar. There was a problem, it wouldn't work. So she kept handing me this guitar all upset saying bwoke bwoke. I begin the hunt for a screwdriver small enough to change the batteries. After about ten minutes and her sadly handing it to me for the fiftieth time, I realized it just needed turned on. Boy, I felt dumb. How many mommies does it take to fix a toy duhhh....

So then it's mommy baby time (AKA when Mathew screams at me until I pick him up). We are laying on the bed playing peek a boo, when he decided mommy didn't really need to see and scratched my eye. Owwwww!!!!!!!!!! It was instant pain, blindness, and watering. An hour later I'm still seeing fuzzy. Good thing I still have the drops from the last time I scratched my eye.

How many hours are left today? Not enough to finish my Mount Everest pile of laundry and to do the thousand other things OI need to. I guess sitting here isn't putting a dent in my work today. Anyone want to come do it for me? Anyone, man it got quiet!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Basa Body review and giveaway


Have you ever opened a lotion and had the smell take you to a place or time you love. That's what happened when I first opened Basa Body's coconut scented lotion. I was transported to a sunny beach with a beautiful blue sky above. Then I looked out the window and saw the red and orange leaves so I put on the lotion, closed my eyes, and pretended the snow isn't about to fly.

I love the way Basa Body felt so soft as I put it on. It was almost like rubbing soft cotton on my face. It left my skin feeling soft and smooth. You can feel the quality in this product! I can honestly say this is probably one of the best overall lotions I have ever tried.

Another thing that makes me feel good about Basa Body is the story behind it. Years ago they took a trip to Kenya and met a woman working hard to support her family by making virgin, organic, coconut oil by hand. They wanted to help these woman build their business and thus was born BasaBody. They use the coconnut oil these strong, beautiful women produce. This achieved their mission of helping the woman and they also give 10% of their profits to humanitarian work! I love businesses that give back.

With a great product and a great mission you can feel good about buying Basa Body. Their products have no parabens, no artificial fragrances, no artificial preservatives, no chemicals. They don't need those things because they use high quality, natural ingredients.

To buy Basabody products visit them here

Watch for an upcoming giveaway from Basabody here

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Our crazy SPD family


                            Our Crazy SPD (Sensory Processing disorder) Family

What is sensory processing disorder? Well, simply put it’s the brains inability to process information coming in from the senses. Pretty simple to understand right? I like to describe it as having senses that are either over active or under active.  

I have been dealing with SPD for my whole life, but just thought I was weird until six years ago. That’s when my daughter was diagnosed. After I learned about the symptoms and what SPD looks like I realized most of my children have it. Sensory processing is actually fairly common. I find most people have at least one sense that is a little off. It’s our differences that make us special.

Today I’m going to share with everyone my families little quarks. They my sound funny (No fear we laugh about it).

My biggest problem with SPD is my auditory filtering issues. I have very sensitive hearing and I can’t filter out background noises. Did you know cell phone towers let off the slightest hum? No, well no fear most people don’t, but I do. I can’t have a fan going or I can’t focus on a television show or reading. It’s kind of cool because I can hear three conversations at once and I can hear a clock ticking three rooms away. Is that considered a super power?

Most of my kids and I have a food texture issue. I love the flavor of onions, but will only eat them on a burger. It’s the whole textures mixing, just thinking about it sends a shiver down my spine. I hate potatoes, but love French fries. My daughter gets upset if we put anything sticky, like jelly, or chocolate syrup on her food.  My kids and I are such picky eaters we will stop and eat before going to a function that serves a meal, just incase we won’t eat there. Most of my fiends now tell me their menu beforehand.

One of our more beneficial traits is our under sensitivity to pain. Let’s just say my dentist loves me!  It can be dangerous because if one of them gets hurt hey don’t always know it. It’s cool in that when learning to ride a bike there’s really no fear of falling. One Easter Janelle fell and needed staples in her head. She didn’t get anything to numb the cut and she didn’t even flinch.

Smells!!!! This isn’t something I have a problem with, but my son does big time. If we cook certain foods he’ll break down in tears. He acts like they literally hurt him! I feel so bad because there isn’t anything we can do to rid the world of smells he finds offensive.

This is just a small sampling of the things that affect us as a sensory family. I hope this makes other similar families to know they are not alone. There are a lot of us families that have to buy certain clothes so they don’t feel, as Leanna says too itchy, tight, or annoying. A lot f understand how chewing on pencils can be soothing, or can’t walk into a Chinese restaurant.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Hot new toy!!!!!

Check out these cool new toy trucks!
Defiants 4x4s are mighty, mini, motorized 4x4s that can take on any challenge! Pocket-sized Defiants 4x4s have real gears, for Power, Speed and Freewheeling Action. What child wouldn't want to have a truck that can do all that?

Kids have so many options with these fully modular play sets and accessories. Each play set connects with every other set for rich, off-road action and expanding play value. They can customized into endless configurations for hours of fun. They have some pretty cool choices from Sink hole control to Brawl and fall. The play sets are really detailed and look like a ton of fun. For the child who is into the military they have the Blitz Force. This is a series of trucks and play sets that include Troop coupe and Gotcha.   

50 of these awesome trucks hit stores over the summer. They are available at Toy's R US, Walmsrt, and many other retailers. You won't have a problem finding them and your child will love them.

Check them out for more information or to get free downloads, games, and videos.

I am writing this as part of One2onenetwork

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

When your child is being bullied

Many parents become angry when they hear their child is being bullied. It's a natural first reaction for a parent. It hurts us when our children are being hurt. It's the action you take that's important. Try to keep in mind you are going to be teaching your child a lesson by he way you react.

Your child is embarrassed. It's not easy for a child to admit that kids are picking on them. They can't understand it's not their fault. That's where your job kicks in and you have to assure them they did nothing wrong. Point out all the wonderful things about them and explain why bullies pick on other kids.

Do not tell your child to just deal with it. It will effect their learning and self esteem. Go to someone at the school, whether it be the teacher, principle or guidance counselor. That's what they are there for. Some schools are better at dealing with these issues than others. I have had good responses and bad. Once when my daughter was choked in first grade by a boy I called the school, I then called the superintendents office, and still got no where. The boy had to sit in the office for one day. It's going to be hit or miss, but don't give up. It is the schools responsibility to provide a safe environment for your child and that includes emotional safety.

Why do I write this today? Well, I have a 10 year old daughter who is very, and I mean very short for her age. She has been refusing to go to school, and claiming to always be sick. Finally yesterday when she was begging to say home I told her not unless you tell me why you want to. I got the I just do. It took a while, but she finally told me the kids are calling her a troll, midget, shrimp etc. The way she describes it it is a constant thing.

My son was also teased and I reacted badly, which made him hesitant to talk to me about it anymore. I kept my cool this time around. I told her the advantages to being smaller, air force jet pilot, jockey, gymnastics etc. I did allow her to stay home today to get a break from it and I called the school. I'm still waiting on a call back, but hoping this will make a difference. I refuse to have my child be one of the statistics.

Watch for signs your child is being bullied. You can find the signs Here. Remember how important it is to react appropriately. Hopefully if you are dealing with this same problem it is resolved and you never have to think about it again. Know your rights and your child's and use them if you need to. Don't let the schools tell you there isn't anything they can do. It is their responsiblity to take action.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Listen To Her Story

Every Saterday I am going to add a short story here. This is to get my own butt in gear and start writing again. Let me know what you all think. Warning there are a few curse words.

                                                                         “Listen To Her Story”
                                                                        -Stephanie Barmann

To who ever finds this:

    People thought my grandmother was insane, but she wasn’t. She always told me she had secrets and as long as they remained secrets everyone would be safe. She didn’t like to go out in public a lot incase anyone was watching her. I can see how one would have assumed the woman nuts. I know differently. I know because now they are watching me because I learned the secrets. Problem is I have no idea who it is. I just know they are there.    
    When grandma died a few weeks ago I found her diaries and journals. They were packed with information on the Atanacio’s. She never wrote exactly what they are, but her descriptions scared me. Antanacio’s can be anything from a dog to a person. They hunt you for as long as it gives them pleasure and when they take you no one will recognize your body.
    I can hear something scratching at my windows now. I know it’s not a tree branch…they are coming. I’m trying to steady my hand to finish writing this. People must be warned. My heart is racing though, it feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest and it’s hard to hold my pen. I know I am going to die soon. What an odd feeling. I wonder if my grandmother knew. She would have had to I suppose.
Grandma wrote there are three simple words call them to you, three words that determine if you live or die. I can’t write the words because if you even read them it’s all over. The fire will destroy them and hopefully no one ever mutters them accidentally.
All I can smell right now is the gasoline. The pile of my grandmothers writing was the first to be doused before I covered all my rugs and curtains. Every room in the house has a coating of gas on it. When they finally get in I’m lighting these matches. Everything is destroyed in fires so hopefully those God forsaken creatures will be too. If anybody ever finds this letter it means I wasn’t successful and the Antanacio’s are still out there, watching, waiting.
    Oh God, I don’t want to die. I’m only twenty-five. Why couldn’t she have left an escape option? Is there even is one? I guess if I’m successful in destroying them I’ll be an unknown hero. I want to live though. I want to grow old!
F&*k, now they are howling. It’s such a horrid sound, like a wolf blending with the shriek of a demon. I keep hoping someone, anyone will show up and save me. If these things can exist why can’t super heroes? Every time I cover my ears it only makes it louder. How is that even possible? I have the most unbelievable pain in my eyes right now. It’s as if someone is shoving scalding, jagged pins into them.  I must keep writing this though, people must be warned.
    There’s a banging on the roof, like a hundred people standing up there stomping their feet. They are tormenting me. My grandmother wrote that they feed of tormenting their prey. I wish I could run away, but what’s the point? They’ll only catch me.
I shouldn’t give a s#$t what they are. They’re out to kill me, that’s what’s important. I can’t stop the curiosity from overwhelming my brain. I want to know, need to know what it is about to end my life. Will I even see them? No, I won’t have time. First sign they are in the house and I’m torching the place.
    Have you ever had someone sit on your chest making it hard to breathe? I feel like someone’s doing that right now. It’s the strangest thing like someone is squeezing the air right out of me. I know they’re not in I can still hear them circling the house. There must be a hundred of them. Every now and then I catch an indefinable shaped shadow flash by my window. I hear them snickering when I flinch. They are getting sick pleasure out of terrifying me.
    Blood is dripping on the paper from the gashes appearing on my arms. The son of bitches cut my grandmother like this. There wasn’t an inch of skin left unmarred by cuts and bruises, except her legs and stomach. Those looked to have been chewed away. The coroner said he’d never seen anything like it before in his life. The dumb ass police blamed a twisted killer. They just couldn’t accept it was these creatures, even after I insisted, even after I showed them my grandmother’s diaries. I guess it’s easier to believe in human monsters than the ones people are to afraid to believe in. They don’t hurt as much as they burn.
    I closed my eyes for a moment thinking of the stupid things I did in my youth. I can’t help laughing now. They want my fear, but that isn’t going to happen. If I’m going out I’m going out laughing.  
    The walls are pushing in and out as if the house was a giant heart beating. I can’t imagine it will be too much longer. The windows are vibrating and my books are falling off the shelves. I break out in hysterical giggles when my copy of Dracula just fell on the table in front of me. How I wish these were vampires at least they’d kill me, not mutilate my body while I’m forced to sit here, knowing what’s happening.
    Oh my God, they are in…

Six hours later

    “Detective, I think you need to see this.” A young investigator holds out a blood spattered letter he’d found on the victims desk.
Detective Stenzel reads the letter slowly and looks around the room. There isn’t a trace of a gasoline smell. The victim was found with a scorched box of matches beside her, but nothing else was burned. It’s a gruesome scene, worse than even six weeks earlier when he investigated her grandmother’s murder.
    He hated to think he had a serial killer on his hands who likes to torment the victims before he kills them. Apparently this young woman was as crazy as her grandmother. Everyone knows monsters are only in horror stories.
The strangest thing of all about the murder scene is that nothing is out of place. The house is neat and tidy with everything in its place. The white rug below the body has no blood on it, yet the body is torn up. It’s almost as if parts of her were put through a meat grinder. What did the words on the wall mean?
    Detective Stenzel takes out his pen and begins taking notes. He walks from the desk to the box and inspects every window and door. There is no forced entry, no foot prints, nothing. He walks back in by the body and stares up at the words written in blood on the wall. He jots them down just before e covers his ears and falls to his knees.  

Friday, October 7, 2011

Green tea daily review and giveaway


I was given an opportunity to test and review Green Tea Daily for my Going Green Big Time series. It is important we take care of our own body's as well as our environment. Green Tea Daily is a great tool in helping us all take care of the precious commodity that is our health.

Green Tea Daily is great for your skin, immune system, and can even help you lose weight! Green Tea Daily is a great source of energy. I can attest to that! I felt so much better after drinking it and got a lot more done. It's so much healthier than downing a few energy drinks and best of all no crash.

I love all the flavor choices you get with Green Tea Daily. My favorite was chocolate, but word to the wise make sure you are mixing it in a plain bottle of water not a lemon flavored water bottle. My preteen even liked these teas. I ended up having to hide them from her because I am greedy like that! My daughter said creamcicle was the best. I wouldn't know she took all of that flavor.

It didn't take long before I could see a difference in my health. I had a nasty cold when I started testing the tea and within two days I was better while everyone else in the house was still sick.

The GreenTeaDaily Promise
Our intention right from the getgo was to create a green tea beverage that can do more than just quenching thirst. We wanted it to help us regulate a healthy body weight and gain healthy energy, and we did it. GreenTeaDaily stands behind every one of our product in every aspect, from the quality of our ingredients to the effectiveness of our beverage. We want to make sure that our products bring you the antioxidants and health-promoting properties that we promised in their entirety. This is and will always be the GreenTeaDaily promise--bringing you the best of green tea. And now, to health!

You can feel confident when drinking Green Tea Daily that you are putting only the best into your body. Why not try some and feel the awesome power of Green Tea Daily
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What do you get with two toddlers and windows?

Cuteness factor!!!! And a laugh.....

Thursday, October 6, 2011

My husband is a serial cheater

Over the years I have been called nuts, stupid, ad accused of having low self esteem for standing by my cheating husband. I am none of those things. In fact I have a high IQ, I am very much sane (depending on who you ask), and my self esteem is too high. I am a kind, giving person, and spend much of my time helping out others. I am a dreamer and a mother, a writer and a friend. All of what I am is why I am able to forgive, but never forget.

I am not going to sit here and write out every affair my husband has had. To do so would take more time than I have. I'm only going to really write about the last time since that's the one that's still very fresh in my mind and by far the worse one to date (The girl was a completely manipulative, nasty person).
 I am also not suggesting what my choices were are right for everyone. This is just a post to help others who may be now or in the future be standing in my shoes.

When a spouse has an affair it hurts. The word hurt can't describe the pain of it. I'll never forget that gut wrenching pain. It starts with hyperventilation that moves into a full panic attack. My emotions were all over the place. The last time I put my foot through a cupboard as Dave begged me to calm down and listen. I can still hear him saying I am so sorry please don't do this as I was screaming for him to get out. I'll never forget collapsing to the floor sobbing to the point I couldn't breath. Being 6 months pregnant didn't help at all either. I wanted to know who and why, questions he wouldn't answer. I held my phone in my hands wanting to call someone and talk, but I didn't know who to call nor could I see the numbers through my tears. I was completely paralyzed by the pain.

I had kicked Dave out, but he wouldn't leave. My mean side went into full gear. Since I wasn't able to sleep I made sure he didn't too. After about a week he stopped asking for forgiveness and finally left. By this time my friends and family knew and the embarrassment set in. It was like I had failed in some way. Then when I started hearing all the lies he was telling everyone about me I freaked. How could this man that only a week before begged my forgiveness be saying such horrible things about me. It wasn't until months later I figured it out. He was embarrassed too. He had to go day to day trying to explain how he could leave his children and pregnant wife. It was so much easier for him to say what a terrible wife I was.

Throughout this time he would call and ask me to forgive him. I never would. He was starting to go out and pretend to be a different person. He forgot about the fact he had this whole other life. He told me later it was because it was easier not to think about everything. I was growing more and more angry all the time. He was out having fun while I was at home mending six little hearts when all I wanted to do was break down. It didn't help when the girl was nasty with my children. I had to set all of my emotions to the side as best I could to get them through. There were still times late at night when my oldest daughter heard me cry and tried to comfort me.

We were separated a total of five months. In that time I gave birth while he was at the movies, I dealt with staples in Nellie's head, multiple er trips for asthma attacks for Nellie, and he was no where to be found. I was a single parent and I hated it. I missed laughing with Dave at the things Devony would do and being alone with the long nights with a newborn. I hated him. I hated him with all I was, but I still loved him too. I felt horrible when he came to me and told me how depressed he was and how miserable his life had become. Then he'd go off and pretend to be this other person again and my hatred grew.

I don't want to write this and come across as bashing only the other woman. In fact I have forgiven all of the other women so far. I had to really open my eyes and mind to see what these other women had been. They were weak, they had low self esteem, and weren't eye catching so to say. They were easy targets for a man who was looking to catch an easy score. Dave never wanted to lose his family. In fact he said I never would have left if I hadn't got caught. Does that make it okay, absolutely not! In fact in a way it makes it worse, but it also helped me to see it wasn't about what I was or wasn't. It was about his issues and the women who think it's okay to have a thing with a married man.

This last girl was the exception to the weak women he'd been with before. She was the aggressor in it all. She wasn't much to look at, but was young and liked to party. She told Dave how unfair it was he never got to do this or that. She promised sexual gratification in one breath and then would say but not as long as you're married in the next breath. She was the classic home wrecker and in Dave she saw an easy target. A man who struggled with self esteem himself, a man who worked a lot to support his large family, and a man with a history of cheating. I have tried over and over to see her point of view and be able to forgive her as well, but that hasn't happened thus far. Unlike the other woman she feels no remorse and she was, as mentioned above cruel to my children. She was the reason I wasn't willing to forgive him this last time. I couldn't understand why this person who was so ugly inside and put on such a front to the outside had weaseled her way in between my world and she just wouldn't go away.

I feel as though I'm starting to bash so I move on. one of the biggest things I grappled with was looks. I was obsessed by what she looked like. I am not an ugly person, far from it. I get hit on all the time and complimented on my looks often so when I finally saw her I was like what is going on here? Then I read something called the affair down. To learn more about The affair down click here. Nothing helped me like reading that did. It validated that I was the person I thought I was and it was not my fault.

So now you may ask how I came to the point of forgiving my husband. It was when everything finally blew up in May. I lost it on him and when I cut off all ties to him he couldn't handle it. He said he missed us, that it was over between him and her, he promised a better life, and to be a good husband. It was all things I'd heard before. He and I both knew nothing he said was going to make any difference to me. I'd heard it before and he'd messed up too many times. It was then that life kicked in. My grandmother was dying, our newborn son was having some problems, my uncle almost died...the list goes on. It was more than I could handle and he was there. He stood by me through it all and reminded me why he'd always been my best friend. He reminded me that the good times far outweighed the bad. Somewhere along the way finding a place back in my heart.

It has only been a few months now so I have no clue what the future holds for us. Dave reminds me everyday what I mean to him and that helps. He is seeking help with his issues and in order to stay he must continue in therapy for a very long time to come. I have had to accept the fact I am married to a man who can not control himself. I have to deal with the fact it could happen again. That is not something everyone could do. It takes a heck of a lot of strength and forgiveness. I have had to outweigh the good and the bad. It's isn't and never will be easy, but neither is life. Anything that comes easy usually isn't what it appears to be anyway.There are struggles to everything. It's what makes us grow stronger as people and better able to handle the twist and turns life tends to toss our way when we least expect it.

If you're reading this and you are dealing with an affair as hard as it is find things that make you happy. Go out, put on makeup, and live your life. For a while it will be you pretending, but you'll find as time passes you will be living again. Don't close your heart to forgiveness. It doesn't make you weak, but actually very strong. Remember you didn't do anything. You may be hearing people are saying this and that about you, but you know who you are not them. No one knows what went on in your marriage better than you. The pain will pass! I allowed myself to be angry. I said things I shouldn't have, but they were true. I gave myself the space to say the things I needed to. Yes, people may have thought I lost my mind, but I don't regret a word I said because it all helped me to later let go. I remember once the other woman said to me those are real good Christian values. All I could think was it's my Christian values that keep me from breaking out the baseball bat. I also found it amusing she questioned my Christian values. It was the things she said that proves I was the bigger, better person. Avoid at all costs getting into a argument with the other woman. I did my best to say what I needed to to my friends and family. Now I'm not saying I never said anything sometimes it was unavoidable. Most of all don't let anyone tell you to not cry, be sad, or be angry. You have to do what you have to do to get through the hardest weeks after finding out. It's in these weeks your true friends will reveal themselves too and the rest will just fade away. Lean on the people who stand by you, you'll need them more than you realize.

If it comes to the point you chose to forgive remember that's a long road as well. There are going to be fights, questions, and answers you may not want to hear. You need to allow yourself to open up like you may never have before. Your partner must be held accountable for his actions. You are also going to hear the classic it takes two to tango and that's absolutely true, but no one says forgiveness of the other woman has to happen any time soon. It took me years to let go of my anger towards one girl. She'll be the first to tell me now how sorry she is and how if she'd known me it never would have happened. She accepts the blame for her part and apologized. That's what made all the difference. Am I her best fiend no, but damn it feels good to not have to hate her. I doubt true, total forgiveness will ever happen for this last girl as she seems to think what she did was okay. Oh to be young again. Darn it I'm back to bashing. All I'm saying is you have to forgive your partner as he is the one in your life not her.

These are the things to think about when dealing with adultery and forgiveness:

1. Are you strong enough to forgive or strong enough to walk away. There is no in between do not make a decision until you can answer this question a hundred present.

2. Are you able to let go of all the emotions and move on? You can not throw the affair up in  his face every time you have an argument. If you want to move on with him move on and act like you're starting over.

3. You're in a tough spot and no matter what you do it won't be easy.

4. If it's a serial thing therapy for him and you both as a couple is in order.

5. Take all of your values into account and make sure your choice reflects them.

6. Remember to do what you want and don't let others influence your decision. It's yours alone.

I think I have stated everything I needed to in this post and I know not everyone is going to agree with what I said. Remember this is coming from my own personal experience and my not be right for everyone. Some woman could never find happiness with their partner again or there are other things that just can't be worked through. Only you know what's right for you. You must take your time and ask yourself is this something I can deal with and get over. Take the time to weigh everything before you commit to anything.

For myself I'll be living day to day and taking things as they come. I pray my husband will never hurt me agai, but I accept the possiblity is real. I will not delude myself, but I will remember who I am and what my husband and I are together. We've made it through a hell of a lot and always came out hand in hand.

Love is what you've been through with somebody.
-James Thurber

I was burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail, poisoned in the bushes,
blown out on the trail; hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn, 
"Come in," she said, "I'll give ya shelter from the storm."
-Bob Dylan

Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends.
-Harville Hendrix