Tuesday, October 11, 2011

When your child is being bullied

Many parents become angry when they hear their child is being bullied. It's a natural first reaction for a parent. It hurts us when our children are being hurt. It's the action you take that's important. Try to keep in mind you are going to be teaching your child a lesson by he way you react.

Your child is embarrassed. It's not easy for a child to admit that kids are picking on them. They can't understand it's not their fault. That's where your job kicks in and you have to assure them they did nothing wrong. Point out all the wonderful things about them and explain why bullies pick on other kids.

Do not tell your child to just deal with it. It will effect their learning and self esteem. Go to someone at the school, whether it be the teacher, principle or guidance counselor. That's what they are there for. Some schools are better at dealing with these issues than others. I have had good responses and bad. Once when my daughter was choked in first grade by a boy I called the school, I then called the superintendents office, and still got no where. The boy had to sit in the office for one day. It's going to be hit or miss, but don't give up. It is the schools responsibility to provide a safe environment for your child and that includes emotional safety.

Why do I write this today? Well, I have a 10 year old daughter who is very, and I mean very short for her age. She has been refusing to go to school, and claiming to always be sick. Finally yesterday when she was begging to say home I told her not unless you tell me why you want to. I got the I just do. It took a while, but she finally told me the kids are calling her a troll, midget, shrimp etc. The way she describes it it is a constant thing.

My son was also teased and I reacted badly, which made him hesitant to talk to me about it anymore. I kept my cool this time around. I told her the advantages to being smaller, air force jet pilot, jockey, gymnastics etc. I did allow her to stay home today to get a break from it and I called the school. I'm still waiting on a call back, but hoping this will make a difference. I refuse to have my child be one of the statistics.

Watch for signs your child is being bullied. You can find the signs Here. Remember how important it is to react appropriately. Hopefully if you are dealing with this same problem it is resolved and you never have to think about it again. Know your rights and your child's and use them if you need to. Don't let the schools tell you there isn't anything they can do. It is their responsiblity to take action.


  1. Sigh. My problem is that my child is being bullied by a child who doesn't attend his school- and the child's mom ENCOURAGES it because she doesn't like me. Which is not fair to my son, at all.

  2. I'm so sorry you're going through that. It's awful that a parent would encourage their child to behave that way. SHe should be ashamed :(

  3. Sometimes, the best way to overcome bullying is to find peers who will stick to you despite everything. It ultimately stems from self-confidence, but confidence is something that can be strengthened through peer bonding. Otherwise, children and teens may grow up to be more introverted or destructive.

    - Carolin Newmeyer