Tuesday, February 10, 2015

My children are a pain...literally.

I am pretty sure I am lucky to be alive with all the injuries my children have caused me over the years. I have had actual er visits caused by them and I think they meant it! I have had everything from bites to broken bones brought on by something one of my children did to me. Let's go over a few of the times they tried to kil... I meant accidentally injured me.

The first time I can remember was when my oldest two were toddlers. They got up quietly one morning and I heard them in the kitchen. I hurried out of bed and ran into the kitchen. As soon as I hit the floor I went sliding and then BAM down on my butt into a gooey mess. What was it you ask? Eggs, two dozen of them broken all over the floor. There were David and Sara off in the corner laughing as I slid again trying to get up. Have you ever tried to clean up two dozen broken eggs? I wish I'd known the salt trick back then! I wish that was the last time, but no not even close.

I have had a few black eyes from babies and toddlers slamming their heads into my face. I never understood how a baby can hit their head on a pillow and cry, but give mommy a black eye and it's funny. Babies are one of the biggest cause of injuries to me. They bite, they slam their heads into me, and their middle of the night bottle and diaper needs have caused me more than one stubbed toe.

I'm not going to make this post last hours so we'll just go to the grand daddy of all injuries my children have caused. We have an upper porch that I was always terrified my kids would fall off of. One day one of my toddlers decided to go running out there and I of course chased there. Mind you I am the queen of clumsiness. I ran right into the doorway, breaking my tow in half. When I say in half I mean my toe looked like a compass pointing east. The doctor said he'd never saw a break like that before. I guess my kids just know how to do it right!

What injuries have your children caused you? Stay tuned til tomorrow when I write about the injuries my kids have done to each other!

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