Friday, February 20, 2015

You know who can kiss my butt

I'm feeling a bit cranky today so I think I'll have a "You know who can kiss my butt" list. Maybe you can relate to some of these or feel free to add your own.

You know who the first people who can kiss my butt are? The perfect moms. Yeah, you know who I'm talking about. You can do everything with one hand tied behind your back and your kids are always perfect. At least that's what you want us to believe. No one can have hair that straight and have time to bake a three layer cake. I know you bought that cake somewhere, And what's with no baby stains on the you have some sort of alien force field that protects you from all the things that leak out of infants? I'm calling shenanigans!

The next person that can kiss my butt is the cranky cashiers. You know what I've had a bad day too so when I greet you with a smile and a hello you better darn well reciprocate or one day I will snap and you'll hear all about the vomit I slipped in, or the poop on the toilet seat, or one of the million other horrible things that may have made my day not so chipper. How much you want to bet I'll win?

Oh let's not forget the moody teens who think everything is unfair. Yeah you know who I'm talking to. Slam your door one more time and you may not have a door! Roll your eyes again and you may not have eyes!

You know who can put a big smooch on my backside the person who puts all those darn twisty things in toy packaging. I think it was safe from thievery after the first 50 did you really need to add the stupid tape, string, and twisty things?

I could make this list a lot longer, but I think I'll stop here before I get myself in trouble.

No fear there's enough butt for all of you!

1 comment:

  1. LMAO. Totally agree. My oldest lost his door for a WEEK for slamming it. His brothers were in heaven.