Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Deodorant isn't lip gloss and other life lessons

I was tired and cranky today and didn't feel much like posting. That is until I turned around and there was Devony putting deodorant on like lip gloss. I took it away and showed her the proper use of said product. She looked at me like I was the one that was wrong and put it on her lips again. So I topped shelved the deodorant with other casualties of life lessons that weren't quite learned. I was looking up at my top shelf (It's the top shelf in the corner of a hallway we don't use) and realized how many life lessons my kids haven't seemed to learn.

I will note most of these products were at one time in the hands of Devony, which is why they are now top shelved. There was a plastic baseball bat I tried to explain was to hit baseballs not sisters, a box of markers which they thought were for wall murals. I was surprised to find a bottle of sun block from two years ago when Emma insisted it was hand lotion and applied it liberally to her hands 3 times a day (She smelled like summer all the time). You know those giant pencils, those were up there to. They are not drumsticks for my T-fal. Thirty-two, that's the number of objects that have been shelved. I know this seems like a lot, but I do have seven kids. It's totally understandable that one out of seven would use body wash as a hallway greaser to make a slip and slide. Did I mention I have very creative children? Dave often adds to the top shelf too. Just last week the handle to turn on the hose was shelved. The neighbors probably didn't appreciate the flooded back yard when the kids forgot to turn it off for the twentieth time this week. Did you know yarn is used for connecting the dining room chairs together? Yeah, me neither hence why it was shelved.

As I was counting the products on the shelf I gazed longingly at a pair of scissors. How nice it'd be to remember those are up there when I need to cut something, but alas kids don't get that cutting pigtails off is not cool. I remember a time before kids when I could leave my perfume on the sink. Now I have to explain that perfumes nice if you use one squirt on the body, not half a bottle as a room freshener. I used to be able to have a lot of things in a time long ago, like lipstick. Now makeup left within the grasp of children becomes mirror paint. I really should take pictures of this awesome artwork before I wash it away.

Today deodorant was added to the pile on the shelf, tomorrow will be something new. I think I'm going to need a bigger shelf. I know I need a taller one. Pretty soon Devony will climb this to retrieve the "lip gloss" she's staring up at with that gleam in her eye.

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