Thursday, September 1, 2011

The things I've cleaned......

  Read this post with extreme caution!!!!!!!! Rated G for gross!

I'm going to be brave today and share a bit of what I have cleaned up over the years. Please keep in mind when reading this that I clean up after seven kids. They outnumber Dave and I more than 3 to 1. This will be a shortened version of only some of my head shaking, I can't believe this mess.
Poop- This goes without saying. I have been pooped on in so many different forms it would be hard to shock me with any form of being pooped on. I have had the oops didn't look before I picked up baby, who'd pooped up her back clean ups. I have had the holding baby diaper leaks poop, and the ever so rare Poop on hand while changing moments. Yes, poop the word that makes toddlers giggle and me grab a wash rag!
Syrup- The one condiment I can't stand. We have had televisions destroyed by maple syrup, sticky plates of it found under beds, syruped hair, and yes even syruped pets! This is not limited to maple syrup, ever try to clean a bottle of chocolate syrup off a bed after a kid tried to hide the mess by putting a sheet over it? Yeah, not one of my happier moments.
Puke- I am that mother who can't stand puke. Baby puke don't bother me it's when they hit about the age of two that's when puke gets that nasty, well puky smell. I swear my oldest used to seek me out just to puke on me. Until the age of five I was his puke bucket! The worst was the time I went running to help my daughter when she was throwing up, slid in said puke and fell on my butt in it. That's what I get for being a good mommy. For the record cat puke is just as, if not more slippery than kid puke!
The number one most annoying mess though is written on jeans. WHY!!!!!!! I don't know why kids think this improves the quality of their pants. How does a smiley face with uneven eyes make their jeans better? My oldest daughter is notorious for this. I'll find her friends names written on her jeans. I must be behind in times. Maybe I need to start carrying a pen in my purse for my friends to write on my clothes so I can be cool too!!!!
Again this is a very shortened list. I'll leave out the pizza crusts under couch cushions, the pee in the cat water dish (don't ask), suspected boogers on shirt sleeves, and the other science experiments my son has accidentally done in his room with food. I'll save you the details of underwear I've seen that I had to pick up with tongs, a forgotten bug collection in the closet, and the things I've never been able to identify!

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