Wednesday, March 11, 2015

My kids owe me money. Lots of money!

So as I watched my daughter throw out a whole bowl of cereal last night I started adding up in my head what those kids owe me a year. I don't mean for their basic necessities I mean for the unneeded crap. The unexpected expenses because they do dumb stuff or waste. I'm going to list out how much each of those kids owe me a year:

 Wasted food: $100

 Broken crap: $200

 Shampoo used as bubble bath: $25

 Written on, cut up, or otherwise ruined clothes in the name of fashion: $30

 Toys they don't play with but pitched a fit for: $50

 Crap we buy from the school so they can win $1 prize: $50

 Crap of other peoples we have to replace because they broke it: $15

 Crap we have to replace because they lost it: $25

 Toilet paper that they use twice as much as they should: $10

 Crushed makeup or nail polish used as paint: $15

 Bike repair or replacement of stole bikes because the don't freaking put them away like we say: $25

 Repainting of walls from crayon/marker that big kids leave out and little one see as opportunity knocking: $10

 Maid service for cleaning their rooms at $20 a pop: $100

 Grand total: $655 per child

 I'M RETIRING!!!!!!!! As soon as their broke butts get jobs anyway.

1 comment:

  1. LMAO - I just had to spend $165 to replace a window my oldest broke in a fit of temper...nevermind all the broken ass toys I threw out a week ago from middle & little's room. TWO garbage bags. Just sayin.